Don’t just choose someone you trust—choose someone who is competent, or at least self-aware enough to recognize their own limitations.

When setting up a trust, many people focus on how their assets will be distributed but forget that the “who” can matter just as much as the “how”. One of the most critical decisions you’ll make in your estate plan is who to appoint as trustee. It is a role that requires not just trust, but capacity, objectivity, and accountability.

At Rehfeldt Group CPAs, we’ve walked alongside countless families through the estate and trust process. Sometimes, we see firsthand what happens when well-intended decisions lead to unintended consequences.

Here’s one real example we often share, not to alarm, but to educate.

A successful father- wise with money, and deeply devoted to his second wife, revised his estate plan after retirement. He had three daughters, several grandchildren, and had built a strong financial legacy. Confident in his new marriage, he appointed his wife as the sole trustee of his trust.

He became seriously ill and passed away just three weeks after his diagnosis. His daughters waited for updates about the trust, but none came. A year later, when one of them contacted the trust attorney, she learned the truth: their father had amended the trust, granting his second wife the option to claim all funds for herself. Legally, she had the authority to keep everything—and that’s exactly what she did.

The attorney later revealed that he had strongly advised against this arrangement. Ultimately, however, it was the father’s decision to structure the trust this way—and the trustee’s decision to exercise the option. The trustee, who was also a beneficiary, had been granted full authority, leaving no legal recourse.

These are the kinds of stories that stay with us. They remind us that appointing a trustee isn’t just about love or loyalty; it is about stewardship.

So, who should you choose?

Here are a few key traits to look for in a trustee:

• Objectivity: Someone who can carry out your wishes without being swayed by personal interests.

• Financial competence: They don’t need to be a CPA, but they should understand how to work with professionals and follow instructions.

• Communication skills: Your beneficiaries deserve transparency and updates.

• Emotional neutrality: Especially in blended families, this matters more than most realize.

• Willingness: Their willingness to follow your estate documents, not their own desires.

Sometimes, the best trustee isn’t a family member at all. It is a professional, or even a team of professionals, who can carry out your wishes with integrity and accountability.

At Rehfeldt Group CPAs, we help individuals not only choose their trustee wisely but also build a team around the trustee to ensure smooth administration. We serve as the financial point guard in the trust, keeping things moving, tracking the details, and protecting the legacy you’ve worked so hard to create.

Choosing a trustee isn’t just a checkbox in your estate plan. It is one of the most powerful decisions you’ll make. Choose well. We’re here to help.